My First Love..

I’m grateful for my pair of eyes, I can enjoy you

The way you think and describe stories and events

You feed my hunger, your knowledge and passion inspires my mind to pray for its obesity,

You control my emotions, soak up the salt seeking comfort in you

You spin me fact after fact, I thoroughly appreciate you

I know you come with a price, I’ll purchase you again and again

I love being surrounded by you and embrace nothing more than being enveloped in your beautiful energy

I don’t mind you second hand, in fact I treasure your time and respect your journey

I enjoy every story you tell, able to choose which string to play today

You sometimes catch me by surprise and make me really angry

I ignore you for months then decide to give into you when I see you staring at me

I want to take you to places, See if your description matches my imagination

I hope to visit many countries with you alone, enjoy the sun

There’s always one of you in my backpack, handbag, you’re always present on my journey

You’ll always be more valuable than your friends who have currency printed on them

I apologise they are being used, a measure and social construction.

I love your ability to twist and turn and introduce me to new ways, new thinking methods

I couldn’t put you down as a child, you’d even sit with me on the dinner table

You’d tell me all your secrets and confide in me

I remember spending time with you under torchlight, so you wouldn’t get taken away from me for still being awake

You’d introduce me to scenes I know my Mother wouldn’t have appreciated

You taught me about gangs, racism, cruelty and history

You taught me to respect other people and religion, you always had a musky smell

You’d have a Fair every term and I would sulk.. My pocket money couldn’t afford you

I wanted to keep you to myself, I was fed up with no option but always having to part with you

I apologise for neglecting you during my teenage years

I apologise for being embarrassed and hiding the fact I liked you as you weren’t cool enough

I’m sorry for viewing you a burden, and feeling obliged to pick you up and for falling asleep on you

I’m sorry for being negligent, unappreciative for all the times I vowed to get back to you

I shall make it upto you, I promise to dedicate more time to you everyday

I apologise in advance if my commitment to a male in the future disrupts our schedule

Thou shall never be far, I’ll keep you warm tucked in under my pillow

You’re capable of taking me into the night, longer than any man could

You make me late for my meeting, recovering from how you tired me the night before

You were my first love, we went on many adventures together

I remember when I would whizz through you, there weren’t enough of you in my class,

my teacher would have to take me to a place where I was excited to take you home there were hundreds of you

I began to expand, go through genres, be fascinated over the Guinness

Holidays were not an option, but you would take me to kingdoms through a wardrobe to meet a lion,

You would scare me, give me goosebumps and make me cry when Heidi was treated ill

You have soul and spirit, you’ve spoke about many things even the Prophets

Now you play the wildest of games with me, a ferocious game of table tennis

The time I’ve dedicated to you has prepared me to understand you more in depth

You have labels for your perspective, I enjoy analysing your every side

Sometimes I wish I could take you to a boxing ring, why did you not think like your ancestor?

Then I feel guilty, for you have passed but your descendant does you justice

You tell me stories of land occupied and colonised, of empires where not a soul had mentioned to me before

I’m grateful I found you and you educated me.. Took me away from supremacy and ignorance

The way you describe the world in different tenses makes me anxious to explore

Amongst all the beauty I’m aware of hardship and sadness

You report to me daily from wherever you may be in the world

Your teachings have helped me plan and created many dreams

One day I wish to be a breath of fresh air to someone as you have been to me

You are the greatest gift, I am possessive but your qualities make me want to share and recommend you

I thank your frequent ignorance and wickedness for challenging my opinions

There are billions of you, you come in many languages and sizes

I do not care of your weight or your shade

I do not care if you’re glossier or more ancient than the one I’ll touch next

I’ll keep listening to you but I refuse to be a nodding hen

I’ll keep piling you up, dusting you onto my forever expanding bookshelf

 The enjoyment, beauty, inspiration and stimulating challenge found on thin sheets of compressed wood, combined together, engraved with the blessing of ink..

 

Shareefa Panchbhaya

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